Chintzeys Return Triumphantly to the Living Room
May 30, 2011
Spyco Records; Saint Cloud, Minnesota — The skies cleared from stormy to partly cloudy in a symbolic gesture Saturday afternoon as the St Cloud based new-wave art-rock band known to 24 fans as The Chintzeys returned to the “studio”.
The Chintzeys skyrocketed to number #77,547 on facebook in 2010 – a meaningless measure of anything to be sure. Though they have not technically “sold” any copies of their debut album “This Aint No Holocaust”, they have managed to give several copies away. After two unsuccessful attempts at a second album, The Chintzeys surprised no one more than themselves by putting together a Christmas album. Their beloved rendition of the classic “Fum, Fum, Fum” was roundly lauded as one of the most haunting- yet-dismal Christmas songs ever recorded.
The first half of 2011 was quiet for the Chintzeys. Jennifer, the less talented half of the band, took time off to record a solo EP with Producer Douglas, also in the Chintzeys. The project, known as Daycamp, features Jennifer stretching her musical arms to embrace several new instruments – namely trumpet and bass. More of hug than an embrace. A very tight hug that is almost like being strangled. The Daycamp CD features very lovely album art and two songs which may or may not be heard by human ears.
Meanwhile, Chintzey frontman Doug returned to the studio to explore numerous other projects, with musicians who actually write and play music, unlike the eclectic Jennifer who mostly offers opinions and drinks beers. Rumors indicated that the pair would never record again after quitting smoking. Smoke-free or puffing away, the world may never know. But we can all rest easy knowing that the we haven’t heard the last of this heartfelt, wacky trio. Yes, they are a trio. Horn man Pete has not been seen, but is believed to bealive and living in the Twin Cities metro.
Chintzey frontman Doug was not available for comment at the time of this release, due to heartburn, and the extraordinary laziness of the reporter. Jennifer paused on her way to the studio to give this brief statement: “I don’t remember anything and I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you please let me through? This beer is getting warm, and it’s heavy.”
For additional information on The Chintzeys, whisper into the wind. Then wait.
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My House On Mars 
Pete’s contract is under speculation… may or may not be renewed. We are haggling over the fine print… he says that I said that I would pay him, where as I contend that I did not. Also, some dreadful day job has him in its’ maw. Hopefully he will come around, but duos are cool, too.